Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
