if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Randomize
