you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
We are two peas in an std pod
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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