I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
