I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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