You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
