i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
