He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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