Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Randomize
