so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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