Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize