Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
