I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
