Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
