we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
