its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
