She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
