i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
