Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize