Don't you send me to vm
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Randomize
