omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
