my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
