He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
