i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
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