i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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