So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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