just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
