I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
