As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
