Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Randomize
