Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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