party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
