you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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