she looked like the bat from fern gully.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
No subtext here. People are naked.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
