Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
