We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
