I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
