Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
