Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
