i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
