sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
