if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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