Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize