Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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