I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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