you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
