508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm way too hungover for life right now
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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