question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
i think i just lost a toe
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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