oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
