he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
