so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
