That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
