a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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