i think my tv is drunk
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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