Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
