Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Two words: nipple clamps
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