She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
