So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
