I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
