if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
