On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I cut my penus on the lid.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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