I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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